I am in total awe of my fabulous autistic son, he never ceases to amaze me, or make me smile. One would never know he was autistic just by meeting him, they instead would maybe think what a funny, or quirkey kid… but it is a reality–he is autistic. Although he is high functioning autistic (HFA), he still has textbook characteristics of the typical autistic child, and the HUGE barriers that those chracteristics place in the life of a growing boy. His social deficits are great, although he has come a long way, these deficits are real, and the older he gets, the more visible they are to see and recognize. He is intelligent beyond genious in certain areas, he has actually taught himself a bit of computer video game programming in the past year–how many 13 year olds do you know that can do that?! He has his schedule, and he thrives by sticking to it. He loves to go to school, and has ever since he began, and so far he has done very well. Elementary school was a breeze–a little more work than a normal learning child like his twin sister, but still, he did vey well and had excellent teachers and support throughout the elementary years. Middle school came along and pulled us down, head first, into a constant nightmare and fight for a life that deserves to be GREAT–and educated.

My son had been on grade level in all of his subjects–except for reading comprehension throughout elementary school, when we did his evaluation for middle school, we had put supports in place for his deficit in comprehension in the areas of having a para-teacher (one-on-one) with him in the two advanced classes that he would have to take (science and advanced social studies); and a reading class devoted to reading comprehension. But as many things did, all of that fell short at the new school with the new team of special education “professionals.”  Disclaimer: They may be specialist in the ‘special’ education of non-autistic special needs students… but clearly, have no real understanding, experience or great knowledge when it comes to educating autistic children–I learned that one the hard way.

Without getting into bashing the deficits in public special education in one blog… I only want to address ”reading comprehension” today–which is our current greatest battle…  As a parent without a teaching degree, and expertise in the requirements of the typical learner, we normally assume that reading comprehension is the ability to comprehend what is read–we think of it in terms of, for instance take the story of Jack and Jill–the facts are: (as the story is written: “Jack and Jill ran up the hill to fetch a pail of water, Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after.”) Comprehension facts: who: Jack and Jill; what did they do: ran up the hill; for what: to fetch a pail of water; then what happened: (who) Jack fell down; what happened: and broke his crown; and (who) Jill (what) came tumbling after. Most children can complete a regular comprehension quiz on this with little issue–even an autistic child. Now, lets use the same story and bring in what we are experienceing in the 7th grade “comprehension” tasks: Why do you suppose that Jack and Jill had to go up a hill to fetch water? How do you suppose Jack fell down the hill? …and why did Jill go tumbling after Jack? As you see, we have come away from the cold hard facts written in the story, to inferences about the story (stuff that could have been there–but was never actually written in the story–imaginative theories).  To make a long story short, my autistic son, who takes everything at FACT value, is unable to inference–meaning, in the school opinion–he cannot comprehend text. Well, his lack of “comprehensiion skills have built the biggest wall in our path to a diploma, as standard educational comprenension includes this inferencing to define ‘comprehension’ ability, and, this standard, has begun to affect the rest of his subjects because at weeks end whether science, social studies, english, reading, health, etc…, there is always a quiz or exam requireing him to write a clear BCR — or address an inference they give to show that he has learned the material in context. Nevermind that he memorized the FACTS, and all of the chapter vocab and definitions, and knows them, and can be tested on them–he fails, because he cannot express–orally or in writing, how something that he didn’t actually read (but has to make up and relate to the topic) has meaning. And the end result is always the same, sorry, he failed the  comprehension part of the exam because he did not write or articulate an acceptable BCR (writing)–which means that he did not actually “comprehend” the material. FAIL!

So, my autistic son has HUGE deficits in imagination and fantasy land–most autistic children do… but does than mean he cannot learn, or will never be able to “comprehend” what he reads (beyond the facts), or does not deserve to be educated in the regular old school subjects that used to be just cold hard FACTS of science, social studies or literature?? Absolutely not! –but it is the standard of regular education learning that falls short for him.

To further elaborate on this issue… My next question would be, if science shows that autistic children are visual learners… and can and do learn very well visually, isnt it more fundamental to modify curriculum to visual presentation and testing to “accomodate” autistic children in general education classrooms? Seriously, look at it this way… would one place their child into a french speaking school and expect them to prosper? To comprehend and inference in a language that they cannot process like the other children? Then why are autistic children expected to learn in a language that they do not understand in order to receive a diploma that say that they learned the required school subjects? There is so much science on autism and so many studies filled with information on how the autistic brain learns, and on visual learning… I ask that educators learn these things, and implement so modifications in the special education standards to INCLUDE autistic children and the way that they are able to learn. Contrary to popular–uneducated–beleif, autism is not idiocy, these kids are not stupid by any means, and unable or unwilling to learn, they are highly intelligent–far more than they are given credit for being… they just learn differently… So when we sit around tables and talk about implementing new  modifications to “special needs” testing, why not get educated on the NEEDS, and strengths of the individual audiences in which the tests are actually for, and maker better choices. All special needs are not the same — public school systems have specific modified tests for the blind, and the def–time to adapt one for austim.

Personally, sometimes I get so frustrated and truly exhausted of fighting, and feel that I just cannot do this fight thing any longer… at the times when I feel as though I am being backed into a corner by the great danes of policy and standards, when hopelessness rears up… I realize, our reality… and I get up… and I begin to feel empowered again, like a pitbull in a chihauhua pen… because as long as I am breathing, I will continue the fight for my sons rights to a fair education–and those beautiful autistic children who will come after him, and little by little there will be change–POSITIVE change. I know they look at me as a stubborn, difficult, and opinionated parent… however, through my action and my words, they also must look at me as educated, dedicated and unfallible when it comes to my children’s education. I will not apologize for making their department work more… there will be children who come after my son, children that deserve the best education… the same education and supports as normal children… and with every step of progress I make, I will continue to shine the light on autism until it becomes a beacon!

(…stepping down and away from the pulpit..)

At the end of the day, I remain thankful that my God has given me an enormous amount of undisputable strength, and I know that throghout this battle, He is always on by side–so I will not fail. I cannot say that I am not tiring–but I can say, I will never give up.

xo’s

AKA Paris E

(Autism Mom… my current challenges, in Honor of the upcoming “World Autism Day” or “Autism Awareness Day” on April 2nd…. Light it up Blue for Autism Awareness– wear blue, install blue lights on the outside of your homes, or beam one in an inside lamp by the window… Light up a who office building blue… whatever it may be, support autism awareness in yuor area… )

AKA Paris E.

All that said, be politically aware of the people you are affecting–Federal workers are every where–not just in Congress.

…that is all.

xo’s
AKA Paris E.

“God doesn’t give you the people you want; He gives you the people you NEED… to help you, to hurt you, to leave you, to love you and to make you into the person you were meant to be.”

However beautifully inscribed and inspirationally designed… it got me to thinking on the different things that people believe about God, and God’s will… Personally, I had to pick the passage apart because it’s contents pretty much goes against what I believe.

Let’s take the first sentence: “God doesn’t give you the people you want, He gives you the people you need.” I disagree, the Bible says “Ask and you shall receive…” So if you ask God to bring people into your life, He will send these people into your life–however the “free-will” HUMANS–flawed as we are, sometimes we allow the wrong people in. God’s doing? Ummm, perhaps not-so-much.

The passage goes on to say “…He gives you the people you NEED…to help you, to hurt you, to leave you, to love you and to make you into the person you were meant to be.” I, personally, do not believe that our Loving Father sends people into our lives to hurt us or do us wrong just to teach us something.  I, personally, beleive that we–having our own “free-will” allow those such people into our lives, and when they hurt us, it was due to our own shortcomings and inability to see the forrest for the trees. We are flawed human beings and we make mistakes, I beleive God tries to show us and guide us to the right path, but some times WE just don’t see it, and CHOOSE to take the other path… therefore creating our own ‘issues’.

When bad things happen, I don’t blame God for putting that thing in my live, I count my Blessings and thank our Almighty Father for helping me out of that bad situation… because I know when I get MYSELF into these bad situations… HE always gives me a door to escape, however long it take me to see it–is on me.

Bottom line: God is GOOD all the time… and all the time God is GOOD…

…just saying…

Peace, love and jelly beans…

xo’s

AKA Paris E.

Women have strengths that amaze men…
They bear hardships and they carry burdens, but they hold happiness, love and joy.
They smile when they want to scream. They sing when they want to cry.
They cry when they are happy and laugh when they are nervous.

They fight for what they believe in..
They stand up to injustice. They don’t take “no” for an answer when they believe there is a better solution.
They go without so their family can have. They go to the doctor with a frightened friend.
They love unconditionally. They cry when their children excel and cheer when their friends get awards.

They are happy when they hear about a birth or a wedding.
Their hearts break when a friend dies.
They grieve at the loss of a family member, yet they are strong when they think there is no strength left.

They know that a hug and a kiss can heal a broken heart.
Women come in all shapes, sizes and colors.
They’ll drive, fly, walk, run or e-mail you to show how much they care about you.

The heart of a woman is what makes the world keep turning.
They bring joy, hope and love. They have compassion and ideas.
They give moral support to their family and friends.
Women have vital things to say and everything to give..

HOWEVER, IF THERE IS ONE FLAW IN WOMEN…
IT IS THAT THEY FORGET THEIR WORTH.

…Never forget your worth…

xo’s

Wait for it…

xo’s
AKA Paris E.

Now I know for a fact that this is NOT an isolated case– this type of fraud is going on everywhere and there are more than thousands of cases of blatant welfare fraud in almost every major city (I, personally, have seen MANY not-so much- in need people abusing the system). My question is HOW the heck are we allowing this to go on?? This is our tax money at work… and we are literally paying for LAZY able-bodied people to sit at home and scam the Government into funding their lifestyle of luxury, while hard-working people who are TRULY in need are turned down daily BECAUSE they work for a living–and are thereby disqualified as ineligible for such services. This is a total injustice and failure of the ‘system’ in my opinion, and it angers me to read or hear about such fraudulent waste of government funds (my tax dollars)–the public–or welfare abusers need to be relieved that I am not running Social Services… REALLY.  It is time–past time–once again–to look in to ‘welfare reform.’ There are HUGE glitches in the current system…and has been for YEARS.

We have a voice on this–we can exert our voice to influence or encourage REFORM–INVESTIGATION. I don’t get it, so many people listen to the news, rumors other people’s opinions such as friends, family and co-workers to e their ‘source’ to hear and/or learn about politics and what is happening in the world… But are you hearing and learning reality–or someone’s opinion? My thought, instead of learning form the streets, take the initiative to READ, learn and become knowledgeable about what is really going on–how things work, exactly where our/you  tax dollars go, and all of the who what where’s and why’s of politics and budget. Learn WHO the go to people are in your community… Things remain the same because so many remain blind,  and this is shameful, when We KNOW (or should know) that change will only occur if WE (the tax payers–voters) are knowledgeable, and stand up and let our voices of concern be heard. Seriously, I am tired of hearing unknowledgeable people complain about this government spending and waste issue–and debate about government cuts (including the wherewithal answer of just cutting WORKING people’s salaries)… how using our voices to demand investigating on the money vacuum government programs that we have in place… those that allow abuse and WASTE of government funds? Sometimes, when I hear people complaining about government, I have to ask them, how do you know this–what and who are your sources and lastly, while you are complaining about the issue…what are YOU doing to facilitate change in these areas? –Sadly, my questions are replies to with a blank stare. A blank stare that unspokenly proves they have no real concept. Jump on a band wagon without the facts… who does that–too many. This is America… a country run–on paper, at least–as being a democracy (remember that word… we learned it in school… the two type of government: democracy and authoritarian??)… but when there doesn’t seem to be much democracy we want to know WHY–but instead of question the right people (law makers and officials in positions (positions we put them in) to facilitate change or bring up concerns), we just stand around the water cooler and blindly complain.

All this to say–back to the welfare fraud issue–and even all other political/government concerns, we need some reform in government programs–use your American born right to democracy for good… Look around, learn, and be aware of what is ‘really going on’, and actively do something about your concerns. Write letters, attend community meetings, and VOTE (not just in the presidential elections either–the minor elections are significant as well!) use your voice. Be active and proactive. Knowledge is power, and power brings change…

Ok enough said… rant over!

As always… Live Love laugh…Be happy, be productive…
xo’s
AKA Paris E.

**No matter who our President is (even though I didn’t agree with the previous administration actions in certain areas—it was STILL OUR Administration—and I never bashed our President—whomever it was). As Americans, yes, free speech is in our right, however, we should have enough respect for our country and support the person that is tasked with all the BS of running an entire country–it’s a dam tough job—and somebody has to do it—and in my HUMBLE opinion… unless we think that we could really get in there and do the job better, we need not show such disrespect—or at least not pass it on to those of us who support our country and have literally fought for our country… no matter who’s hands it was/is in. Just as in my household, you don’t like how it’s being run—then stop complaining and leave, go see if the grass is greener on the other side. Enough said.

I realize that this email was just a forward—and I am not shooting the messenger so to speak… however I will say, next time the disrespect of our President jokes come around, I hope that they will kindly leave me off the forward list. I don’t appreciate receiving things to this nature… (especially not to my “Federal Government” email address —>how distasteful!)

(…and yes, in case you were wondering, my reply ‘to all’ was similar to this one )

Patriotically and respectfully…

 AKA Paris E

…that is all.

 AKA Paris E.